Stuck Place

When I wrote Divine Confinement, I used "Facing Seasons of Limitation" as the subtitle. I have always liked that. It was about ways to navigate the choppy waters of the stuck places in life.
It is time for me to reread the book ---- I am stuck. Struck down by the end of a budding relationship, my forward progress is nil. I forgot how much a heart can hurt. This isn't something to eagerly anticipate. Suddenly, the tripe about the value of pain seems trite. I don't think I want a matured heart ----I just want the pain to stop.
In this Holy Week, we think about the last earthly days of our Lord Jesus Christ. While most focus on the cross, I find great emotional substance in the garden of Gethsemane. Dad used to sing "I walked today where Jesus walked." One of the scenes is in the solitary place "where all alone He prayed." My sister shared ideas with me this week about the agonizing loneliness of the garden. There are times when the silence of God has such weight we think we will fall under it's mass. Even an "attaboy" would have been welcome as Jesus bared His soul and submitted to the Father. At the public baptism, the dove hovered and the voice thundered....and the people cheered. In the aloneness of Gethsemane, nothing but the night surrounded our Lord. This week I have had some of those awful nights, but nothing will ever compare to the sheer darkness of His moments.
He went through the garden to the cross in obedience to the Father who chose Jesus as the sin bearer for all of us. Jesus knew separation would come. But this very separation on the cross enables me to hold on in this season. I hate it ---I really do. The experience of betrayal and deceit rubbed my soul raw, but this soreness can never compare to the suffering of my Lord. In His season of limitation, He took on flesh to walk among us to share in our pain and to now be our mediator and intercessor.
Hallelujah, what a Savior. Holy week enables me to be whole, even when I feel shredded. Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift.